Before They Were Men

Essays on Manhood, Compassion, and What Went Wrong

Author  Jacob Tobia
Before They Were Men

Gender nonconforming thought leader and bestselling author Jacob Tobia offers a paradigm-shifting argument for fundamentally reframing how we think about men.

“A reckoning, a manifesto, a wellspring of curiosity, and an invitation to consider better ways of imagining masculinity.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut

The conversation about masculinity, patriarchy, and misogyny has never been so prominent or heated. Alarmed by a new generation of angry, broken young men, genderqueer writer Jacob Tobia sets out to explore what’s going on and comes to a shocking conclusion: Emotionally and spiritually speaking, men and boys may be the ones suffering the most under the gender binary right now.

Tobia should know. For their gender-defying adolescent heart,…

Available for Pre-Order
$39.99
August 26, 2025
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