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Marginalia

Marginalia

Do We Really Need Whimsical Socks?: A Visa Journal

Last week, my wife and I received a staggering Visa bill. Actually, make that another staggering Visa bill, one that was more nauseating than sobering, really, but sobering all the same. We visited with a financial advisor after this...

I Love You and I’m Sorry: MDMA Letters

I recently, as a 47-year-old man, took MDMA for the first time. After a life in which my substance use was largely limited to pot and the occasional Ativan, the experience opened up a new channel in my brain through...

The Shame Spiral of a Groupon Purchase

There was a time when Groupon was to be the dawn of a beautiful consumer revolution—a glorious system through which we would all purchase goods and services at rock-bottom prices, provided a guaranteed number of sales had been met. If, for...

My Life as a Monster: Going Gluten, Wheat, and Dairy-Free

My wife Rachelle and I visited a naturopath about a month ago and it was an interesting and kind of weird experience, like visiting the past for a medical diagnosis. The naturopath quickly determined my GI tract was in...

Winning the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest is Easy

Winning the New Yorker cartoon caption contest was pretty easy for me, but then again, I’m something of a genius. Maybe not an “IQ genius,” like some other thinner, bookish people, but all the same, I have my own...

Status Updates: Planning a Reunion With People Who Feel Sorry For You

The other day I got an e-mail from some old school friends inviting my wife and me, as well as some others from that era, over for a little dinner party. This is the invitation and the e-mails that followed.

Two Minutes For Hacking: The NHL’s Twitter Account Has Been Compromised

The Syrian Electronic Army has really been making a name for itself lately. This pro-Assad collective of propagandists have hacked into the Twitter accounts of NPR, CBS, AP...

Even Mascots Get the Blues: Baseball’s Opening-Week Anxieties

For many, Major League Baseball’s opening day is a breath of fresh air, a relaxing time of hope and optimism, but for others it can be stressful. As the year’s first full weekend of games approaches, here is a selection of anxiety nightmares...

When Justin Met Lindsay: A Love Story

Last year, Justin Bieber made 55 million dollars. His Twitter account has 35 million followers it and is growing at a rate close to one person per second. Famous mostly for his haircuts, this critically despised androgyne has been expanding...