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Culture War

Forbes’ Celebrity 100 List vs. The New Yorker’s Ernie & Bert Cover

It’s been an action-packed week here at Culture War HQ, aka the dumpster behind the massage parlour. A brief recap: Martha Stewart...

The Jobs Film Trailer vs. Carlos Santana’s New House

Greetings, friends! It’s been a wonderful week, because two of my favorite cultural visionaries made the headlines. Few people have contributed as much good to civilization as these two gentlemen. Of course, I’m talking about the late Steve Jobs...

The Bon Jovi Feud vs. Biker Pope

Greetings, friends! This week you can call me Mr. Yin-Yang, ‘cause I’m bringing you tales of darkness and light from the high-stakes world of showbiz. First up, the pitch black yin: the feud between Jon Bon Jovi and guitarist Richie...

Summer Movie Preview vs. World Naked Bike Ride Day

Put on your shades and wax down your surfboard, ’cause this week’s Culture War is all about F in the S (fun in the sun)! First up, make a beeline for the box office, because I’m giving you the official Culture War Summer Movie Preview....

Lou Reed’s Livers vs. Dan Aykroyd’s Snuff Movie Scare

What a whirlwind week it’s been for today’s top stars. Jean Stapleton passed away, Michael Douglas unwittingly added to cunnilingus’ PR woes, and the usually elegant Patrick Stewart admitted he’s addicted to, of all...

George Michael vs. Roman Polanski

Pop quiz! Spring is a time when a young person’s thoughts turn to: A) love, B) cool indifference or C) hot and juicy celeb gossip garnished with a liberal sprinklin’ of Scandal Sauce? If you said C, congratulations! Sit back and relax as I...

Venezuela’s Toilet Paper Crisis vs. David Beckham’s Retirement

It’s been a banner week for human civilization. A topless painting of Bea Arthur sold for $1.9 million, Denmark won the Eurovision contest with a song about crying, and, to top it all off, the mayor of Toronto made a really cool short film that’...

Heavy Metal University vs. Kate Middleton’s Due Date

G’day, mates! This week, Culture War is taking a trip across the pond to Great Britain, where things are really shaking on the pop culture front. First off, throw up your devil horns and visit the registrar’s office, ’cause a college in...

Mother’s Day Gift Ideas vs. the New Darius Rucker Album

Quick: name a star who’s bigger than Tom Cruise, Scarlett Johansson and Beyoncé combined. Having trouble? You shouldn’t. The answer is obvious: mama! Sunday is Mother’s Day, and in honour of the occasion, I’m devoting part of this week’s column...

The Czech Republic vs. Chechnya

Hey, everybody! I just flew in from last week and, boy, are my arms terrified. Last week was a real doozy, with enough earthquakes,...