Ditched by Dr. Right

And Other Distress Signals from the Edge of Polite Society

Publisher: Villard
In witty slice-of-life vignettes and laugh-out-loud cultural riffs, Elizabeth Warner shares her divinely demented view of the world. Raised by a mild-mannered psychiatrist father and a slightly off-kilter mother, Warner opted out of the life that awaited the youth of WASP heaven (aka Philadelphia’s Main Line)–that is, to be “typically weaned, whelped, and privately schooled, whereupon you move on to the roost-and-spawn phase.”

Yet no matter how far afield she ventures–to New York to become a master junk-mail marketer or to L.A. to do a little acting–Warner can’t help but feel that sometimes she’s getting nowhere fast on “some kind of Protestant monorail to doom.”

Whether she’s spelling out the invisible word “help” on a guy’s shoulder blades during unfulfilling sex, getting out of jury duty by smearing herself with soy sauce, or convincing her mother that the words “career girl” are not her death knell, Warner proves that sometimes it doesn’t matter where you go in life–just as long as you’ve got a killer punch line.

From the Trade Paperback edition.


Carbon Dating

This is a true story.

When you grow up in the Protestant blood clot that is suburban Philadelphia, there’s very much a plan at work. One is typically weaned, whelped, and privately schooled, whereupon you move on to the roost-and-spawn phase, with the occasional rinse & repeat...
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“If you have been looking for the next sassy, scrappy heroine to root for, if you want to behold a true literary accomplishment, sentence by smart-ass sentence, if you want to be riveted by the poignant and hilarious tales of a WASP out of water . . . you must read this book.”
Liz Tuccillo, co-author of He’s Just Not That Into You

"Do not for one minute believe the subtitle of Elizabeth Warner’s Ditched by Dr. Right. She is not writing from ‘the edge of polite society.’ She is writing from over the side, way over, and her smart, raucous, irreverent book will make you want to jump over and dangle there with her.”
Cynthia Kaplan, author of Why I’m Like This: True Stories

From the Trade Paperback edition.