Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People

How to Beat Them Without Joining Them

Publisher: Crown Business
The impossible people who make life’s journey so difficult are everywhere—at the office, in restaurants, on airplanes, living next door, members of your own family. They’re . . .

• your “nothing is ever good enough” boss

• the “no price is ever low enough” client

• the next-door neighbor who redefines the meaning of paranoia

• the maître d’ who looks through you as if you don’t exist

• the father-in-law who you know is always thinking about how much better a life his Janey or Joey would have if only married to someone other than you

Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski give you a simple and highly effective 4-point plan for dealing with all of them and more—N.I.C.E. Their system shows you how to neutralize your emotions so you don’t just react but act purposefully and wisely. It enables you to identify the type of bully, tyrant, or impossible person you’re facing—the situationally difficult (something has happened that turns an otherwise reasonable person into a temporary terror); the strategically difficult (she has empirical evidence that being difficult is a strategy that gets results); or simply difficult (being difficult is his 24/7 M.O.). Then you’ll learn how to shape the outcome by controlling the encounter and, finally, how to get “unstuck” by exploring your options.

Using colorful stories from all walks of life— “He called me the scum of the earth and it went downhill from there,” “First, lock all your vendors in a small room,” and “The boss from hell”—the authors bring their lessons to life, from business life to family life.

From the Hardcover edition.


Chapter One:N.I.C.E.—How to Beat Them Without Joining Them

Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People are everywhere

They’re at the office, down the street, at the mall, on an airplane, in the checkout line, in the next highway lane, on the Internet, on the phone. They’re male,...
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“None of us—whether in sports, the corporate world, entertainment, government. or private life—is immune to the destructive effects of clashing personalities. With remarkable ease in this must-read book, Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski have cracked the case of one of our most frustrating yet inescapable daily challenges.” —Bill Belichick

“Ironically, the day I finished the book, I found myself in conflict with an apparent bully, and before reverting to habit, I recalled and implemented Ron’s masterful techniques to defuse the situation.” —Steve Mosko, president, Sony Pictures Television

“In a world increasingly full of bluster, hype, and exaggerated conflict, Ron Shapiro has always been a calm voice of reason, advancing the interests of those he represents without resorting to the tone or tactics of those he faces. Here, he and his partner, Mark Jankowski, share their techniques for creating workable solutions when dealing with even the most difficult of people.” —Bob Costas

“Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski’s new book will help you develop the skills needed to navigate through minefields of difficult people and unfair circumstances, anxiety-provoking affairs in which the outcome really matters.” —J. Raymond DePaulo, Jr., M.D., chairman, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

“Whether you are educating a sales force, managers, or front-line company representatives, or just looking to improve your own skills at dealing with difficult people, this book is a great resource.” —John R. Cochran, chief executive officer, MBNA America Bank, NA

“Big-city mayors encounter their fair share of ‘impossible people’ and one of the greatest things about this book is that I actually watched the authors apply their ideas in solving difficult urban problems.” —Kurt L. Schmoke, former mayor of Baltimore, Maryland, and dean of the Howard University Schoool of Law

From the Hardcover edition.